patutkah??

SMS dari pondan

"hi, sy babi"

Peluang utk mkn babi nh mmg sangat tipis la bagi kte umat islam nh sbb babi tu kn haram dan dr kecik lg ustad2 n ustazah duk ajaq babi nh kotoq ada banyak kuman dan macam2 penyakit lagi la. Even tersentuh pn dh kna samak kn,bayangkn la betapa kotoqnya menatang tu, apatah lagi nk di wat benda mkn kn, mau berdarah usus nk samak ngan ayaq tanah kn.
Satu petang nh aku pegi joging kat taman berhampiran, kata badan berat, mesti la nk ringankn balik kn. Mcm biasa la, kalo aku keja pagi ptg tu kalo x penat n kalo x ujan mmg aku pegi joging la. Mungkin ade lebih dari dua "kalo" lam ayat sbelum nh, maksudnye aku jarang la dpt pegi joging nh kn atas sbb2 halangan yang x dpt aku elakkn.(hahaha) Mcm biasa la smpai umah je, aku tukar baju sume siap2 nk g joging, then tgk dapor stok megi aku da nk abes. Seluk poket suar jeans cekau RM50. "lepas joging nh leh singgah the store sat beli megi". Kuar umah je aku kasi kunci sume pintu utk kselamtan barang2 lam umah, maklumla kn bkn brg aku, mau kne rompak mampos kne ganti blk. Aku pn ngan penuh bsemangat pegi kt lif igt nk turun ikut tangga je. Pikir2 balik mau tcabut lutut turun tingkat 8 kn, aku pn stretching la skit2 smbil tnggu lif. Sampai je lif tu, lif tu tbukak! "kttiing" bunyik lif tu. Muncul la org yg aku ske sgt2 my "beloved" pondan housemate. Nmpak aku ngah stretching kt dpn lif tu, ngan ayunye die lontarkan senyuman pondan die. NK muntah aku!!! Tp aku balas blk senyum die tu, dh tntu la aku malu duk stretching sorg2 dpn tu, aku igtkn xdak org lam lif tu..huhu

"stretching...stretching...stretching..smpai nmpak pondan ye"

Smpai je joging track, aku pn start la joging, mule2 slow dlu kasi panas bdn kn, 2nd round laju sket, 3rd round lagi laju. Aku rs pondan2 yg duk bsantai kt buaian kt tmn tu pn kagum ngan stamina aku.(haha) msk round 5 je aku da pancit. tengok jam pn dah dkt kul 7 dh, aku pn hentikan la aktiviti sehat aku nh, trus cabut nk pegi the store beli megi.
Smpai the store je aku capai bakul satu, ala2 makcik2 shoping barang dapor kn, bakul mesti ada. Nampak telur, aku amek 10 biji, amek sos sbotol, amek frozen meatball speket, "kalo campur lam megi mesti sdp" . Lepas tu g cari hidangan utama, MEGI KARI LETUP. Aku amek sbungkus pastu ternampak lak kt bahagian bawah skali. "RAMEN KIMCHI FLAVOR" mcm sedap je nh, aku kn duk layan cite korea skang,Family Outing. dorg duk mkn mnatang ramen tu selalu. Sepeket rm15 tu, maklum la impot dr korea.

"megi import punya"

Balik umah je aku placing ramen kimchi aku yg mahal tu kt dapor bagi pondan tu jeles, die mkn megi biase je, aku megi import beb.
Esok petangnye lepas "brunch" ramen kimchi tu, aku pun pegi la kje. Malamnye aku dpt msg dr pondan:
pondan:"fahmi, kimchi ramen tu ko punye ke?"
aku : "a'ah, npe?" ringkas dan padat aku reply. lam ati nh duk kata " sah nk pow ramen kimchi aku nh"
pondan : "xde. ktorng prasan de pork flavor seasoning dlm ingredient die"
aku : terkesima! "yeke?hahaha aku da mkn la td" masih lagi berlagak cool walopon aku da mkn perisa babi tu. Patut la sedap.(hahaha)
pondan :" ko gne periuk mne masak td?yg ade tangkal ke xde?"
aku :"yg xde tangkal"
pondan : "ouh, xpe la"

"fahmi, ko mkn babi..hihi"

pondan nh....aishhhh..die lebih concern psl isu mknn halal haram daripada tabiat die tu. yang die bersekedudukan ngan brader tu die x pikir lak kn?nabi x mngaku umat kut. Ustad die dlu x pnah cite ke psl kaum nabi lut yg Allah tbalikkn bumi psl homoseks tu. Aku benam gak kang kepala pondan nh lam tanah. Aku x slhkn die tegur aku psl perisa babi tu kn, tp sbb die concern psl periuk yg pnah gne ade bekas babi tu yg buat aku hangin tu.

"yg mne lg berat?"

alkesah...

"read at ur own risk!contains lots of thing related to the pic above"

cite pasal housemate aku nh, starting aku nk cite sbb dorg dh wat taik kt aku, bkn dorg berak atas aku, umah ktorg ade toilet so x timbul isu dorang berak kt ne ok. lagipn bkn masalh aku pn kalo dorg nk berak bersepah kn?ok cukup psl berak, aku rasa kurang senang menggunakn perkataan berak sewenang2nya sebab entry nh spatutnye bkn pasal berak tp lebih kepada hasil yg keluar dr proses tersebut,iaitu taik. urghh..jijik sial. hubungkait die ngan housemate aku ialah proses jijik yg sama dorg wat kt aku sehingga membuatkn aku rasa cm diri aku busuk sgt. 1stly ktorg mmg total stranger la kn,mmg x pnah knal pn b4 nh, umah aku tu ade 4 org trmasuk aku ms aku mula2 msk dlu. sorg lawyer yg agak lembut, sorg dh mmg kompom pondan, kasut tumit tinggi bsepah kt lam umah aku tu,bukti sgt konkrit dan kdg2 korg leh nmpak baju kelawar dan bra kt ampain ktorg, mmg pondan tu punye sume sbb aku yakin aku ngan lawyer tu x pkai bra ok. Sorng lagi brother berbadan bonzer kje ngan McD, aku tau die kje mcD pn sbb trnampak die kt mcD ampang park tu ms g karoke ngan mmbe2 aku. ala yg kt sbelah pizza hut tu, tau kn?haa btol la tu. aku ngan lawyer tu duk sebilik sorg, brother ngan pondan duk bersekedudukn kt master bed, biasa la org da kapel kn, nk kawen x leh,dpt bersekedudukn pun jadi la kut. Kat umah aku gak ade sekor kucing nama "Cika". Aku rs pondan nh bg nme sngkatan kpd cikaro, cika nh mmg pondan ngan brother punye kucing. Aku rs sbb pondan nh x branak2 gak walopon ari2 brother tu tibai dorg amek kucing nh wat anak angkat, kalo blk kje je mmg spenuh perhatian la dorg bg kt cika. Maklumlakn da "anak" dorg. Punye la manja si cika nh, aku tgk yg pondan ngan brother nh mkn megi je slalu cika lak mkn whiskas n ikan ape tah aku slalu tgk dorg bg. biasa la kn,cika kn anak tunggal dorg.

"nh la hasil lelaki bersekedudukan ngan pondan"

ok sudah merapu, kita straight to the point je la kn, aku taip panjang2 pn bkn korg knal dorg nh wat lenguh jari je. 1st month sume bjalan lancar, ktorg slalu lepak tgk tv skali. Cite ktorg tgk?mesti la katun, rupe2nye dorg nh ske gak tgk spongebob mcm aku, naruto sume dorg lyn r. ade satu ptg tu aku ngah tgk berita lawyer baru blk kje, pondan nh ngan smangatnye bercerita, kite ikuti perbualan mereka di bwh:
pondan: Noks, ko tau td aku tgk cite naruto.
lawyer : lor yeke?sygnye x smpat tgk byk kje arini.
pondan: rugi ko x tgk tau, arini sakura lawan ngan master puppet tu.
lawyer : a'ah. yg last week punye aku tgk die lawan ngan puppet tu gak.
pondan: tpkn,ko tau kn yg nenek master puppet tu korbankn nyawa die utk bagi idup gara blk. menangis sakura lpas nenek tu mati. kesian tau aku tgk die.

"menangeh sakura bile nenek tu mati nokss"

mcm tu la lebih kurg minat diorg kt cite katun nh smpai boleh dijadikn perbualan yg sgt significant utk dibualkn. owh! lupe lak nk ckp korg kne bce dialog kt atas ngan nada pondan berckp bru dpt feel die. tp since da tlambat x gne la nk patah blk baca semula, da x syok dh.(hahaha)

ok abis mukadimah, cite die cmnh, kt dapo umah ktorg ade la water heater sebijik, hasil perkongsian diorg la, aku msk umah tu sume dh lengkap so xde brg aku pn lam umah tu, ye la kalo x lengkap watpe aku sewa blk kt situ kn?(hahaha) kisah die tetiap mlm aku blk kje aku akan amek air sejag bwk msk blk,biase la da cuaca panas kn,kne byk minum air kalo x asyk kne ulser cam dak pmpn yg aku knal nh, aku da blikn die bonjela, lpas nh kalo tumbuh lg ulser aku suh je die minum bonjela tu, suh minum air xnk(hahah) ok2, yg housemate laen nh lak dorg kje opis hour pg2 buta dh pegi kje kn, mule2 ok je xde mslh, satu tghari yg damai di kala aku bru bkk mata, aku g r wat round kt dapo kn, kut2 dorg de msk ape2 ke kn. tp xpenah ade pn,kdg2 je ade roti gardinia, so aku sebat je mne yg ada. Msk je dapo mata aku tertumpu kt heater tu, ada 1 kelainan la arini. ade A4 paper dilengkapi nota berbaur perkauman di situ. "tlg isi blk air lpas amek ye, jgn biar heater kosng" WTF? men tampal2 nota lak, aku automatik trasa, ye la, xkn tuju kt org lain kut kn, dorg sume da lama 1 umah aku je baru msk sbulan. Ckp je la, pe ssh kn, men tampal2 nota lak, masa duk lyn sponge bob sme2 tu leh je nk ckp. aku x kesah nk sound tu kn, tp aku isi la air lpas amek woi!!

"punca perang dingin aku ngan pondan"

kejadian kedua lak masa aku ngah tnggu tren kt KL sentral, tibe2 ade bunyi duit syiling jatuh. "oh bunyi hnset aku rupenye". ade msg baru msk. From pondan, "fahmi ktorg nk ckp nh, bil lektrik bln nh mhal sgt, b4 nh ktorg duk 5 org je pn x smpai mahal cmnh tau, ko kurgkn men laptop ko ek. jimat sket. arap ko phm" Arghhh!!! pehal lak pondan nh. aku men laptop pn x puas ati, lgpn bknnye aku nk sgt on laptop 24jam ,dah aku kne tgk cite korea nk wat cmne, korg pn tau kn btapa ktagihnye cite2 tu sume(hahaha) aku pn reply "pondan, any extra charge u just put on my rent this month ek, no need to pay for me, u just pay the amount that u used"
lepas tu baru2 nh aku trtnggal kunci umah kt tmpt kje, da smpai umah tgh mlm, nk bkk pntu sah2 la dh bkuncikn so aku kol la lawyer. Damn! xangkt. Aku kol pondan. Sial! xangkat gak. lpas termenung 5 minit dpn umah, aku kol lawyer lagi. YEAH! lawyer tjaga die bkk pntu. mission accomplish! cite die 2 ari lpas pondan tbe2 msg aku, "fahmi, u ade kol i ek mlm tu, lupe lak nk tnye, npe ek?" comelkn msg die?uweekkk!!!! tbe2 lak duk "u""i" ngan aku nh, da ilang akal ke pondan nh?

"jum join pesta muntah!!"

my housemate

ok here's the story about 4 people who live in 1 apartment. destiny had brought them together. let see the outcome of their fate. This entry is about me and my housemate, i dont exactly know what's the definition of housemate, we live in a house together and we are not buddies. is that count as mate?what so ever, these kind of story is not really appropriate to be told to anyone in fact it is considered one of the top secret. So just this once i'm gonna let everybody know what is my housemate really like. it's not about their favorite thing or something like that it's about their true nature, the way they behave. now, everybody have their own unique behavior. i would not define it as good or bad because what we think good might be bad for someone else so lets just play safe for now and define all kind of behavior as unique.

"kami duk serumah tawww"

First let me introduce u to my house which is an apartment that have 3 bedroom,2 toilet,1 kitchen n 1 living room. stepping inside for the 1st time u might be thinking that our house has been rob or someone just burn all of our furniture and of course that is not the case, the reality is we dont have any furniture. we are all working type of people we dont hang out at the living room casually, the living room is just an empty space that we need to cross to get to our room. but still it is a must to have a living room,if u ask me, i wouldnt know what the real reason is for having that kind of space in our apartment but what i do know is it was already there when i move in. So let's just keep it that way okey. After all the story aint about a living room, we should focus on living human being which is my housemate. stop reading already. all the stuff about living room is just a crap, well since u read it already, how do u like it?not so much to be liken ryte?liken?is that even a word?i dont know it's just sounds good to me.

"kosong je kn"

Well back to the main point, what really bother me is not about the house or living room or any other room inside it, the problem is about the breathing-meat inside the apartment, by breathing meat i meant human being i'm sure one would easily mistaken the word with a piece of meat that could breath. Can u believe how ridiculous it's sounds now?but still with my stand people behavior is unique thus the way they think might be unique also who am i to judge if a person really stupid or dumbass or whatever. At some point i just dont give a damn but on the other hand i also do give a damn at most of the time because how unique the way people might think, stupid is stupid and stupidity is really irritating. lenkali la cite psl housemate aku yg pondan tu,mls la nk type,syif pn nk abih dh nh..nk blk tdoq!!haha

"stooooooopid"